Vive la Différence - there are certain differences in what you can expect when you book a holiday in a French owned mobile home as opposed to one owned by a British company.

I think by now that we all know when we talk of camping holidays we more often than not mean staying in a mobile home, and if it's somewhere nice and peaceful then so much the better.

We have written several similar pages to this on other camping sites and thought that we should also have one on our own to demonstrate the differences in what you get when you book a mobile home holiday with a French company and one run from the UK mainland.

Now don't think for a minute that we are trying to run one or the other down at all because that certainly ain't the aim of this page. There ARE differences though, and you should be made aware of them before you book, unlike some friends of ours who never asked us about this topic and whose holiday was not actually spoiled but could have been far better had they been aware.

Well let's try and take this from the start: You have booked and paid for your holiday in the Vendee, for instance. No problem at all there, and you may have found the French owned company to be a tad cheaper than the UK one, but are you aware that the UK company invariably includes the short Dover/Calais return crossing in the cost of their holiday? Now you have to book a crossing for yourself and the total cost could be more than had you booked through a UK company in the first place.

On arrival at your chosen resort you will book in via the site office, or with your Holiday Rep, and the French Rep will relieve you of over 100 Euros on the spot to be held against possible damage. This rarely happens with British companies as they often ask you to pay a damage waiver (approx £10 per person) which is non refundable, so if you do just happen to break the place up one boozy night it only costs you a tenner.

British companies invariably have full time Reps whilst their French counterparts seem to work on a very part time basis, and will turn up about 3pm after their siestas, with a fag on and a glass of wine.

One huge difference which catches many a Brit family out when they book with French companies is that they have to clean out the mobile home/chalet/whatever - and it has to be clean, otherwise you lose 40/50 Euros - your choice. On the other hand, your British Reps are run off their feet trying to clean up after you in time for the next arrivals. You might give them a thought next holiday and give the place a wipe round before you leave - every little helps.

For the purposes of this page we have to assume that the mobile homes are identical in every way in terms of their specification, but the inventories are subtly different.

That being the case, you will get demi-tasse or tiny little cups in the French version whilst the UK one will equip you with cups and saucers or mugs - probably both.

The French are becoming modernised slowly but most still boil water in a pan, so your morning cuppa will be made that way instead of having a kettle. To add insult to injury you will more than likely get a coffee maker in the Fr version and a teapot in the home grown one. Cups of tea can be rather more touble than they're worth when using the French equipment.

Electricity suuply can cause a few problems if you go with a French company as they work on 110 Volts as opposed to our 220/240. Of course, this means that in no time at all the French electrical sockets smoulder nicely when you have your hair driers on for more than a few minutes. Luckily the smell of burning plastic can be picked up a mile away so if you happen to notice it then it may be worth checking inside your accommodation. If the smell is accompanied by smoke then shout, "Au secours!" and run like Hell.

All the rest is much of a muchness apart from one vital piece of kit - the tin opener. Now then, if you are staying in a French owned mobile, and if you intend to open even one small tin on your holiday, we seriously recommend taking a "proper tin opener" from home. The French version, which is obviously a throwback to the middle ages, is simply a piece of metal with a razor sharp spike at one end, which is supposed to dig into the top of the tin and be worked round until the lid finally comes off, leaving a horrendously jagged edge.  

Don't get me wrong here - it works, but at the same time it is highly lethal and more often than not can result in a dash to the nearest A & E. I (the editor) know a man not a million miles away from my desk who had such an experience.

At the end of your stay you simply leave your mobile home keys with your UK Rep and leave. He/she/they will clean your hutch for the newcomers later in the day.

Try that with your French Rep and you lose your deposit. He/she will inspect everything minutely, and if the mobile is relatively new he/she will be wearing cloth overshoes so as not to dirty your nicely cleaned floor.

Now this process if fair enough because that is the custom in France, but let me tell you: waiting there to see if you are going to lose some or all of your deposit is one thing, but waiting to hear someone criticise your wife's cleaning is something else again! People have been murdered for less, and I for one would prefer to be elsewhere if that happened!

Fortunately it hasn't happened to us yet, but there have been times when yours truly has been sorely tempted to drop a couple of peanuts on the floor before the inspection.